Magnus Bane's Magnificent Guide to Dating
by Take Me To My Fragile Dreams
Summary: Hello ladies and gentleman, boys and girls and pathetic individuals. My name is Magnus Bane, -yes that's right, the Magnus Bane. High Warlock and Magnificently amazing individual. As all you poor bastards know, I am here for a reason, a very specific reason...


Hello ladies and gentleman, boys and girls and pathetic individuals. My name is Magnus Bane, -yes that's right, _the _Magnus Bane. High Warlock and Magnificently amazing individual. As all you poor bastards know, I am here for a reason, _a very specific _reason and that is to answer all your questions and to give you relief from those pesky fears. Yes, people. You know what I'm talking about. Welcome to…

Magnus Bane's Magnificent Guide to Dating a Shadowhunter!

* * *

**Step one: Catching the Eye of Your Shadowhunter**

When in the market for a positively delicious individual you must keep an eye out at _all times_,otherwise when you find said individual you will be unprepared and thus, you will fail. However, if you are like moi and are able to improvise on the spot, then you're all set. However since that's unlikely, here are a few pesky issues you will need to look out for:

**Pride-**

Now, Shadowhunters are decedents of the angels and thus, they will have the annoying pride of the angels as well. For a child of the angels being seen even _looking_ at a Downworlder is a disgrace and so, a Shadowhunter will sooner thrust their libido and their needs -and _trust me_, they _do_ have them- into the drain than act out any attraction towards the _oh so lucky _Downworlder individual. But! Fear not! For, if you are patient and fight back against your own libido and wet dreams and if you leave a… hmm, how should I put this? _Lasting _impression on them, well, then eventually, they _will _call/visit/whatever-the-hell-you-told-them-to-do.

**Note: **Make sure you _do _insinuate what you want from them, otherwise… Well you _both_ will end up suffering from lack of communication, and trust me, your body _will_ make you pay for it.

**Gossip-**

Despite their protest, the Nephilium are a very gossipy bunch. If they even _catch_ wind of a Shadowhunter seeing a Downworlder they will immediately jump to conclusions and well… You will never see your Shadowhunter again.

So! Make sure your advances are discreet and in an environment that you can control. You don't want any surprises now do you? Especially not when you're pulling the moves on your hottie.

* * *

**Step 2: The Contact**

Children of the angels are large teases. They love to make you wait, and they love to have you on the edge of your seat 24/7. However, -much to my relief and to yours- they aren't so socially inclined to _not _know about the three day rule so, if you have not communicated in three days time since you've met them they're either not interested or you didn't leave a lasting impression. …Or they're dead.

**Meeting Up-**

Don't be surprised if your Nephilium shows up in a disguised assembly. As I said, they are very prideful creatures and would be absolutely _horrified_ if someone found out they were visiting a Downworlder. So with that said, make sure that when first setting up a place to see your Shadowhunter face to face its somewhere private; for example, your apartment/house/hotel.

**Distance and Welcome-**

Though they will fervently deny it Shadowhunters are incredibly jumpy. If they feel like they're uncomfortable or put on the spot they _will _bolt. No questions asked. However, it is up to you to make them feel welcome and to make sure they're comfortable _and if_,at the end, you have succeeded in keeping them with you without having to hogtie them then you're on your way to developing a nice friends with benefits relationship.

* * *

**Step Three: Developing a Schedule**

Shadowhunters are incredibly in the moment type of individuals, if they're line of work didn't already hint towards it. They live every moment with the knowledge that every moment could their last and so, they aren't very good at planning things ahead of time.

**Securing a Place to Meet up-**

Your -hopefully- lover is going to have a very strange schedule compared to what you are used to so you need to develop a place where you can meet up at various times during the day. As I mentioned before apartments/houses/hotels -wherever you live really- are much more ideal for this type of relationship. Also! Due to the difference in schedules you will want to give your Shadowhunter a key if your meet ups are taking place in your home.

**Hunts-**

Demon hunting can occur at any time. A Shadowhunter can be put on duty at any time of day at any time so, be prepared for moments when you just want to burn phones to a crisp. Especially during those hot and heavy sessions, there is nothing more boner-killer worthy than a phone call saying your lover is required to go risk his/her life.

* * *

**Step Four: The Relationship**

Children of the angels aren't ones to whore around, they fall in love differently than regular humans and Downworlders and so do not be surprised if your Shadowhunter wants to step it up to the next level.

**The Conversation-**

You'd think that with what they do Shadowhunters would be more… adventurous when it comes to love but surprisingly, -though when you think about their emotions-make-you-weak speal it kinda makes sense- they aren't. So, when your lover finally builds up the courage to ask the big question of what you are, _do not_, under _any _circumstances make it seem like you find them amusing; or I _promise you_, they _will _take it the wrong way and assume you don't want them. Which is the _last_ thing you want.

**Note: **With that said, if you are just looking for a Fuck Buddy and thought that a Shadowhunter would be ideal then I advise you to change your mind. Otherwise you'll find yourself in a situation that involves knives, torches and many angry brothers, sisters, friends and you resembling a pin cushion that was dragged through various things containing acid, lava and jell-O.

**The Decision-**

Very rarely will your lover actually come straight out and ask you if you're together so you will need to take that step for them. _Do not _be discouraged if it takes them a few moments to reply. It's just their adorably stunted emotional state kicking in.

* * *

**Step Five: Gradually Becoming Public**

First off, let me just say, congratulations for getting this far! Not many can truly claim to have a Shadowhunter as his or her significant other and so, you will find yourself the target of many rumors. But fear not! For, though the steps of fully claiming your lover as yours and _no one else's _is a long road, it is a road paved with rewards and benefits.

**The Public Date-**

When you first take out your Shadowhunter for your first pubic date _do not _be discouraged if they shy away from physical contact. It's their first time _truly_ being with you and they need to find their footing all over again, -a monumental task for your lover, believe me.

**Showing Affection-**

They'll be wary of any contact, even if its just hand holding and you'll find that they're constantly checking their surroundings. Any sudden movement or sound will spook them and they'll be incredibly nervous. However, you just need to be patient. They will eventually grow more at ease and allow contact. But, if all else fails, I find flirting can bring out that incredibly sexy and dominating personality that lives within.

**Warning! **Should you try this approach be prepared to be completely blown away and aroused. In other words, public places aren't really an ideal place, _especially_ not one with children in it. Other than that, good luck kiddies.

* * *

**Step Six: Facing The Nephilium**

Having been raised by the Clave's rules and of having ideas and laws ingrained into their minds since they were children, Shadowhunters will be constantly worried about their people finding out about their relationship with Downworlder -you'll find that siblings and parents are a particularly _touchy_ subject. So just make sure you are nothing but supportive and always there for comfort.

**The Secret's Out-**

As soon as the Nephilium hear wind of your significant other being in a relationship with you they will be subjected to _numerous_ amounts of criticism and disgust. Having your race turn against you is a very hard thing, especially if your parents turn as well so make sure you let your lover know you are there for them. They're taking a big step for you by basically throwing away their future for you, the least you can do is hold them when they're in pain. If you can't do that then you deserve to be pelted with blow dryers.

* * *

**Step Seven: The Big Night**

Sex with a Downworlder is a big thing for a Shadowhunter, especially a virgin one and so you'll have to be patient and reassuring. I find that the children of angels are particularly stunted in knowledge of this act -_apparently _they don't have sex ed.- and that they are even more hesitant due to it. However, if they do agree to it, then congratulations! If that isn't a sure sign of their trust in you then I don't know what is.

**The Act-**

Your lover is going to be nervous, looking to you to guide them and show them a side of love that they've only ever thought about. So, with that said, this night is not a night for new things. So leave the fuzzy pink cuffs and the chocolate body paint in the closet and give your lover the night they deserve -you'll have plenty of time for the kinky acts later.

* * *

**Step Eight: Everything Else**

So, you've pretty much gone through everything there is to go through and if you and your Shadowhunter aren't as happy as me when I get new glitter; THEN GO BACK AND READ THE DAMN DIRECTIONS! With that said…

* * *

"Magnus?"

The Warlock froze, hands poised over the keyboard as Alec's footsteps came closer and closer.

* * *

I wish you and your honeybunch all the luck in the world.

~The Magnificent Magnus Bane

* * *

He quickly clicked the post button on the side, ignoring the notification box that popped up right after and slammed the top down just as Alec walked through the door.

"Did I interrupt your work?" The Shadowhunter asked nervously, blue eyes flickering to the closed laptop in front of the Warlock.

"No, love." Magnus purred, crooking his finger at the boy. "Not at all."

Alec obeyed his unspoken request, moving forward silently to stand in front of his chair, allowing his lover to wrap his arms around his waist.

"I though you were going to be out all day?" Magnus questioned, circling his thumbs around the Shadowhunter's hips.

"I was." Alec nodded. "But Izzy finished cleaning early so I slipped out before I could be pulled into anything else."

"You're here for the night?" He questioned, fingers wrapping around his lover's jean loops.

"If you'll have me." Alec murmured, tilting his head down to ghost his lips across the other man's.

"I'll always have you, love." Magnus breathed before closing the distance between them. And in the flurry of kisses and gentle caresses, Alec, Magnus' Shadowhunter, couldn't help but agree.

* * *

**Okay! So! I've had this idea in my mind for quite some time now but haven't had the time to type it up but I finally got it and walla! I tried to keep Magnus in character as much as possible though I think I failed towards the ending. With that said, tell me what you thought!**

**ALSO! I'm thinking about doing sort of a prequel from Alec's view. What do you think? **

**;3**

**~TMTMFD**


End file.
